Obamacare implicated in Grand Avenue Bridge fiasco

The recent fiasco at Grand Avenue Bridge, as reported first by Cityview, underscores once again how Obamacare has unmoored the very heart of red-blooded America.  Listen to me when I talk to you about this because I’M ANGRY AND I’M LOUD.  And you should be too.   After Obama almost stopped us from our God-given right to pay cash at the Iowa State Fair for deep fried butter-on-a-stick and those tenderloins the size of dinner platters, why are we continually surprised by his shenanigans.  Shame on us for sitting complacently in our lawn chairs  during this mess.  No more.  It’s time to stand up and take back our health care system, our bridges, and our deep-fried pickles.

As we’ve done so many times during this corrupt administration, we must peel back the layers of deceit that only a man born in Kenya could try to foist upon us.  Shall we start with the first so-called “coincidence” between the Grand Avenue Bridge and Obamacare?   Let me make this intricate conspiracy perfectly clear — and don’t be fooled by those slick folks from Iowa City either — Obamacare was signed into law during March of 2010.  Okay?  Are you still with me?  Construction on the Grand Avenue Bridge began in March of 2013.  I’m not kidding.  You can check.  Both in March.  Wow.  I rest my case.

OBAMACARE — GUILTY AS CHARGED.

You want even more?  Okay, how about this, what do the guilty do?  They run.  Well, guess who fled our country?  Yup, Mr. Barack himself.  And for where?  Why for the land of prostitution and drugs.  No, not Colorado.   Our so-called leader went to the Netherlands.  In March.  Yes, you heard me correctly, March.  Uncanny how all the strands come together, isn’t it?  March for Obamacare.  March for the bridge.  And now March for drug dealing and prostitution.

OBAMACARE — GUILTY AS CHARGED.

But is there another reason Obama fled the country?  After he eavesdropped and spied on innocent Americans like us, who did he run to?  Well, where did that other fellow go to escape prosecution for not eavesdropping and not spying?  You guessed it, Russia.  Who did Obama meet with in Holland?  It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see where this is going.  He met with his old pal, Putin.  Oh, my lord, just connect the dots, folks, and it leads right down to the grassy knoll and Crimea.  Surprise, surprise, look who’s massing troops on the border of the Ukraine and look who’s not man enough to stop him.  Oh, by the way, when did all this occur?  Yup, in March. The net just gets tighter and tighter.

OBAMACARE — GUILTY AS CHARGED.

Personally, after I saw that Obamacare forced the shut down of the Iowa Juvenile Home in Toledo, I was upset.  And then when Obamacare forced an activist judge to reopen the Juvenile Home, I was more upset.   And then when Obamacare forced our own Representative Steve King to shut down the government, I was starting to boil.  And then when Obamacare forced Representative King to physically reopen the government for the veterans to visit the World War II Memorial, which he had closed by shutting down the government, I was spitting mad.  I was so angry, I had to call my doctor for a sedative.  Which my doctor prescribed over the phone.  Of course, I reported my doctor to the Iowa Medical Board for practicing telemedicine.  Listen, I didn’t know that illegal telemedicine only applied to women.   And now my doctor won’t talk to me.   What did I tell you?  “Obamacarenot.”  It’s everywhere.

OBAMACARE — GUILTY AS CHARGED.

So, folks, it’s time to make a choice.  Bob Vander Plaats said “no” to becoming our next Senator, even though Bob himself told us he could have won if he wanted to, but he didn’t want to, although if he did want to, he was bigger and stronger than all the other kids on the playground, in fact three times bigger and stronger, but he didn’t want to just beat these smaller kids and become Senator, so he said that even though he was the winner, he was not going to come out and play.  Well, we need to do the same.  We need to say “no” to the Grand Avenue Bridge AND NOT DRIVE ON THE BRIDGE, even though we could.   And by saying “no” to the bridge, we are saying “no” to Obamacare.   And by saying “no” to Obamacare, we are saying “yes” to deep-fried pickles.  Please, save the pickles.

But be careful.  There are those Satanic red-light traffic cameras everywhere, daring to keep us safe.  In fact, I think that might be two cameras up on that light post — disguised as ducks.  As they say, if it quacks like a duck . . . .

Image 8

Joe

 

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *